Light Shines Brightest

The last couple of months I've been going through some of the blackest days I've ever felt in my life.  Death came calling twice, I got sick and I'm still not fully recovered, my heart has been overworked, both literally and metaphorically, and I lost a dear friend.  I thought what I was feeling was depression but apparently it's "delayed grief."  I kept myself so busy that I never gave myself a chance to mourn any losses, and these most recent ones brought them all crashing in.  I fell into a black hole and I didn't know how to escape its gravity.  I stopped writing, because I couldn't find any words to describe how I felt.  I became lost to myself and it's like I'm discovering who I am all over again and remembering her at the same time.   But every day it gets a little lighter...


It is in darkness, where she remembers how to shine.


Comments

  1. "But every day it gets a little lighter" ... it is this line that brought a feeling of relief as I read your blog post. Wishing you the very brightest of days as we journey through 2023. I care. I have turned comments off on my blog as my son and I are away from home through the month of January. Please take care Lori.

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    1. Thank you Helen. I wanted to post an update because I hadn't been around much and I just wanted to let people know that I'm still here. Even at my blackest I still held on to hope. I just cried more tears than I knew I had. I think I was washing my heart and soul clean. I appreciate you so, so much my friend. I hope you're having a good time with your son and your travels. Here's to a lighter 2023.

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  2. Grief isn't easy. Necessary, but so very hard. It's difficult not to die a little when someone we love is taken away from us. Still, we must do it. If not, what would happen to the loved ones left behind, right?

    I am glad you are getting yourself back. And happy you are sharing your words again. They were missed.

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    1. Thank you Magaly. It really isn't easy, the lost people, the lost words, the lost time. It all hurts. But I'm healing. I've been able to write again I just need to start uploading them to share. I'm looking forward to reading all those I've missed.

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